Paul Gascoigne admits he’s a ‘sad drunk’ who has effectively been rendered homeless as a consequence of his ongoing battle to stay sober.
The former England hero, arguably the most talented footballer of his generation, is currently living in the spare room of his agent, Katie Davies, and back attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
Speaking on the High Performance podcast, Gascoigne said he has ‘bad days’ when he turns to alcohol.
‘I used to be a happy drunk, I ain’t anymore,’ he said. ‘I’m a sad drunk. I don’t go out and drink, I drink indoors. If I want to make it a bad day, [all I need to do is] go down the pub. If I want it to be a good day, I get my flying rod out and go fishing.
‘It’s not the drinking, it’s the afterwards. Looking at my phone after and seeing 30 messages or missed calls, I know I’m in trouble. But I’ve been alright. Last year wasn’t brilliant, was off and on for a couple of months.
‘I went to a meeting the other night so that was all right. Just an AA meeting. I went with a friend and that was OK. They’re all right, harmless.’
Gascoigne became a national hero on the back of his exploits at the 1990 World Cup, when his performances helped the Three Lions reach the semi-finals where Sir Bobby Robson’s side were beaten on penalties in heartbreaking fashion by West Germany.
The fame and notoriety that followed Italia 90, allied to the devastating knee injury he would suffer in the following year’s FA Cup final playing for Spurs against Nottingham Forest, coincided with his life spiraling out of control.
Addiction to various substances followed and Gascoigne, now 56, has been in and out of rehab over the course of the last three decades.
Of his ongoing struggles, he said: ‘I’ve never been to rehab for drugs ever, and probably for drink I’ve probably been two or three times, the others, I’ve been for Calpol. I went to rehab because I couldn’t get off Calpol.
‘Calpol has 0.0001 percent of alcohol, so I thought if I have 20 bottles of it, that’s the equivalent of a pint.”
And when he was told not to come back, Gazza said: ‘I’d say ‘Listen, ‘I’ve got three wives and nine kids, I need Calpol’. It was mad.’
‘People know Paul Gascoigne but Gazza, no one knows, even me sometimes,’ he added. ‘I’ve spent a lot of years being down, when I did my ligaments and then my kneecap, I missed four years of football. I would’ve got 100 caps [for England].
‘I try not to get down because the world’s already down enough and when I’m really down, that’s when I pick up a drink to cheer myself up.
‘I don’t think I let any managers down, or the players or the fans, you know. If there was anyone I let down, it was myself. But more the drinking side of it, when I finished playing.’
Gascoigne added: ‘I called Katie [Davies] up in November a few years ago crying my eyes out.
‘What I put myself through and other people — jail and rehab, taking cocaine off toilet seats — and then I’m asked to be ambassador for my country, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘When I do these venues [speaking engagements], I hardly talk about football, more the crazy stuff I used to get up to. I’ve got to get straight in and get them laughing.
‘There’s a few times when I’ve cried on stage. I can be emotionally soft. It doesn’t take long for us to cry sometimes.
‘I keep a lot of stuff in, stuff I should share but get scared of sharing with people. I don’t think I’ll ever grow up, which I don’t mind, you know?’
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