Key events
90+1 min: Slovenia substitution Jure Balkovec for Erik Janza.
90 min Four added minutes, and then the news cycle can resume.
89 min: England substitution Anthony Gordon replaces Phil Foden, who didn’t hit the heights but had his best game of the tournament so far.
89 min Foden’s free-kick is headed away at the near post.
88 min A crossfield pass from Walker is dealt with majestically by Palmer, who cushions it first time over Janza and is blocked off. England have a free-kick on the right wing.
86 min: Double substitution for Slovenia Jon Gorenc Stankovic and Zan Celar replace Jan Mlakar and Andraz Sporar.
84 min: England substitution Trent Alexander-Arnold replaces Kieran Trippier, who is struggling with cramp. That means Kyle Walker will move to left back.
83 min Foden’s fierce shot from 25 yards is well blocked by Elsnik. Slovenia haven’t just parked the bus, they’ve taken the back wheels off.
82 min England have pinned Slovakia back for almost all of the second half, and at times their tempo has been better. For all that, I can’t remember Jan Oblak’s last save.
81 min “My German girlfriend just told me that the local newspaper (Leverkusen) has described Southgate as a manager as a man who owns a Ferrari and drives around thinking he’s got a clapped out Trabant,” says Malcolm Shuttleworth. “Sums it up nicely, I think.”
I think that’s a bit harsh. But one thing’s for sure: he’ll never be happier than he was in that Trabant in 2018.
80 min Janza stays down after being caught by Bellingham. He might be trying it on, who knows. Slovenia are 10 minutes away from reaching the knockout stages of a major tournament for the first time.
78 min Palmer clips a nonchalant pass down the right to Kane, who rifles a dangerous low cross that is turned behind by Karnicnik. Foden was waiting behind him.
77 min Mainoo’s cutback is cleared, then Foden is booked for dissent. England are still top of the group, though a goal for Slovenia or Denmark would change that.
76 min: Slovenia substitution Josip Ilicic replaces Benjamin Sesko, who won’t be roofing anything tonight. He can’t be fully fit.
75 min A good effort from Rice. He cut inside from the left, played a one-two with Foden and larruped a speculative effort that whistled a few yards wide of the far post.
74 min Trippier’s free-kick is overhit, and all Guehi can do is keep it in play by heading it back to Foden. He wins a throw-in and the cycle begins again.
73 min Kane wriggles away from Bijol, who rugby tackles him desperately. A clear yellow card. The free-kick is about 22 yards out but a fair way to the right of centre.
72 min “I’m catching as much as I can from the U.S. during work hours,” writes Liisa, “but just to say this first half has been so uninspired that I focused more on figuring out how to email you than on the match, to include VPN’ing from London in case non Europeans were blocked for some crazy reason! Overall tournament comment too: what’s with all the own goals? This is the own goal tournament.”
The OG, you might say.
71 min: England substitution Cole Palmer replaces Bukayo Saka to huge cheers. It’s his tournament debut.
70 min When the free-kick is eventually taken, it’s overhit and goes out of play. Bleurgh.
68 min Guehi is booked for a cynical but necessary foul on Sporar, who had seized upon an error from Guehi and would have had a two-on-one had he got away. Instead Slovenia have a free-kick 25 yards from goal.
68 min England’s tempo has dropped a bit in the last 5-10 minutes. Cole Palmer is apparently about to come on.
67 min “If it’s any consolation, those of us are watching on a split screen can confirm that the Denmark the Serbia game is equally duff, incoherent and unconsummated,” writes Charles Antaki. “So two mid-table games from four mid-table international sides. Sounds about right.”
It resembles England’s World Cup group in 2010 doesn’t it: 1-1, 0-1, a disgusting 2-2, 0-0, 0-1 and 1-0.
66 min Sesko has been eerily quiet, which makes you wonder a) how fit he is and b) in which minute he’s going to roof a violent 30-yarder.
65 min Bellingham leaves a bit on Janza, who takes the opportunity to go down about as convincingly as Gulbadin Naib last night. You can’t blame him: Slovenia are 25 minutes away from making history.
64 min “This situation is crying out for a game changer like Jos Buttler or Adil Rashid to be brought on,” says Simon McMahon. “Why can’t Southgate see that?”
Adil Rashid: now there’s a man who knows how to have fun at work.
63 min A rare Slovenia attack ends when Gnezda Cerin slices miles wide from distance.
62 min “In lieu of anything more interesting happening, let’s go back to the vowel ‘fun’,” says Matt Dony. “There is, of course, a difference between a vowel sound, and a letter being classified as a vowel. And, in English, a Y is a consonant. Other languages vary. In Welsh, for instance, a Y is a vowel. Along with W. So an English reader might look at a phrase such as ‘Nid yw’r bencampwriaeth hon mor ddifyr â 2016’ and think there’s not enough vowels. But there are plenty.”
What about that Adam Wharton though!
60 min Foden lines up one of his long-range heatseekers but is tackled just as he pulls his foot back.
59 min “Note to self,” says Richard Slassor. “Don’t speed read the MBM while watching the match and then wonder why Mainoo resembles Carol Vorderman.”
58 min Foden’s outswinging corner is met by Stones, whose header is cleared off the line by Sesko. He also blocks Bellingham’s follow-up, and then Saka is penalised for booting the side of Sporar’s face while trying an overhead kick.
57 min Foden’s excellent free-kick is taken off Kane’s head by Bijol. For the first time tonight, it feels like an England goal is in the post.
56 min Look, it’s not award-winning stuff but England have been better – and, crucially, quicker – since half-time. Mainoo, the catalyst for that improvement, is flattened 30 yards from goal by Drkusic. His stiff arm went into Mainoo’s neck and he’s lucky to avoid a yellow card.
54 min An outrageous long pass from Kane almost releases Bellingham, who can’t quite control the ball on the half-volley. Had he done so he’d have been through on goal, though it was a very difficult ball to take.
53 min A fine crossfield pass from Kane finds Walker in space on the right side of the box. He tries to cushion a volley back across goal and gets it all wrong.
52 min It’s still goalless between Denmark and Serbia, so as things stand England are top of Group C and heading for the easy half of the draw.
51 min “England are so stodgy,” says Jeremy Smith. “Remembering that it’s meant to be fun would be a start.”
That’s a great point – they look so uptight, even joyless. I wonder how much of that is down to the all the criticism they’ve received.
50 min This is better from England. Mainoo’s one-touch pass frees Bellingham, whose ambitious through pass to Kane is crucially cut out in the area.
48 min Mainoo, who has a slight resemblance to Carlos Valderrama in the way he lends people the ball, has already had loads of touches. He threads a nice pass into Bellingham, who wins a corner for England.
47 min “At the risk of bucking the trend, I’m an England fan who is quite enjoying this game,” says Nick Parish. “Having said that, I’m watching it poolside in Costa Rica with a cold beer, and an article from John Curtice on the forthcoming election to read at halftime. Apologies to all those without such consolations.”
It’s Steak Club at Wetherspoons tonight, so…
46 min Peep peep! Slovenia begin the second half. They are 45 minutes away from reaching the knockout stage of a major tournament for the first time.
Half-time substitution
Kobbie Mainoo on, Conor Gallagher off.
“Bellingham is dreadful for England (not interested in what he has done for Real, it’s a different game here),” says Andrew Hurley. “He is a huge part of England’s problem – why not have a meritocracy, play Foden where he should be playing, and play (a novel concept, hold on to your horses)… a left winger on the left wing ? Or a left back left back? Or a defensive midfielder in the defensive midfield position ? Everyone in Ireland is so amused by the fantasy football mentality that surrounds the English football team. You literally couldn’t make up all of the nonsense around this team – but it’s very, very amusing.”
That’s a bit harsh, no? In the games I’ve seen, Bellingham was great for England until about 5pm last Thursday. Agree totally on the Fantasy Football mentality though; that’s become a bigger problem for Gareth Southgate with each passing tournament. But then when he picks Conor Gallagher, who is an Anti-Fantasy Footballer, the incorrectly spelt hashtags are out before kick off.
The ITV panel’s verdict
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Ange Postecoglou “The passing is way too slow”
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Roy Keane “They need to be braver. Be brave enough to lose the ball.”
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Gary Neville “It’s a collection of single passes. We look really basic and it’s sad because we’re better than that.”
“Re Southgate’s comments on Gallagher,” begins Mark Gillespie. “Is there anything more English football than picking a player because he can run and win second balls, over players like Wharton and especially Mainoo who mean you far more often keep the first ball.
“In addition, the change that has been made has already been tried in both of the previous games, and didn’t make any significant improvement. It’s like Southgate used up all his risk changes in the players he left out of the squad, but doesn’t trust any of the players he then brought in.”
While I can see the logic of picking Gallagher, his selection tonight felt like a statement that England aren’t panicking.
Half time: England 0-0 Slovenia
Gary Lineker said England were “sh!t” against Denmark. Tonight they are doing their best to put the log in Cologne. The first-half performance was uncomfortably similar to the Denmark game, only minus the early goal. Don’t know what else to say really, except that Argentina lost to Saudi Arabia and won the World Cup. But right here, right now, England are nowhere near.
45+1 min Don’t take this the wrong way, because he’s an astonishing footballer who makes me feel like I’ve finally seen Duncan Edwards play, but Bellingham has been dreadful.
45 min The reason there have been so many emails in this half is that there has been very little to write about on the field. England haven’t been crap as such, they’ve just kind of… existed.
44 min “I find it strange that Southgate discarded so many core players of his tenure for his last hurrah,” says Max Williams. “Apparently 13 of this squad are tournament debutants, which must impact the cohesion and general vibes, for want of a better word. We can debate the relative merits of Grealish, Rashford, Sterling, Dier, even Henderson but all are Southgate’s players and he seems lost without them. The fact he doesn’t appear to trust their replacements makes me wonder why he didn’t just go down fighting with the old guard.”
Yeah this is a fascinating psychological point, with a few possible explanations. Was he unconsciously responding to all those hashtags and accusations of excessive loyalty? Is he demob happy? Is he Keyser Soze?
