“Synopses are so f—ing stupid,” reads Disney’s description of Marvel’s Deadpool & Wolverine.
Unlike the Merc with a Mouth, Marvel Studios is being tight-lipped about Deadpool & Wolverine.
Advance tickets for the R-rated Marvel Studios movie — which opens July 26 — went on sale Monday, accompanied by new footage and a new poster featuring the titular Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman). Plot details have been pruned and banished to the Void, but Disney did release a pair of vague synopses shedding some light on what awaits Wade Wilson and Logan when the X-Men movies-verse crosses over with the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Here’s the Disney-friendly version released to ticket retailers:
Wolverine is recovering from his injuries when he crosses paths with the loudmouth, Deadpool. They team up to defeat a common enemy.
And here’s the uncensored, profanity-laced Deadpool & Wolverine synopsis:
Marvel Studios presents their most significant mistake to date – Deadpool & Wolverine. A listless Wade Wilson toils away in civilian life. His days as the morally flexible mercenary, Deadpool, behind him. When his homeworld faces an existential threat, Wade must reluctantly suit-up again with an even more reluctantlier… reluctanter? Reluctantest? He must convince a reluctant Wolverine to – Fuck. Synopses are so fucking stupid.
That common enemy is Cassandra Nova (The Crown‘s Emma Corrin), the evil twin sister of the X-Men’s Professor Charles Xavier who poses a threat to the multiverse. Past trailers showed Time Variance Authority Agent Paradox (Succession‘s Matthew Macfadyen) recruiting Wade — now a toupeed used car salesman — with the explanation that he’s “special” while offering him a chance to “be a hero among heroes” like Thor and Captain America of the Avengers.
“I’m about to lose everything I’ve ever cared about,” Deadpool told Wolverine while in the Void, a junkyard for branched timelines pruned by the TVA (as seen on Loki). After Wolverine growled that’s “not my f—ing problem,” Paradox said this weary Wolverine variant “let down his entire world,” explaining why the ex-X-Man is reluctant to suit up (in his classic yellow and blue costume).
“I was on my way – I was just driving – and literally just like a bolt of lightning came this knowing, deep in my gut, that I wanted to do this film with Ryan… for Deadpool and Wolverine to come together,” Jackman, who retired the Wolverine role in 2017’s Logan, told Rotten Tomatoes. “I swear to you, when I said I was done, I really thought I was done. But, in the back of my head, ever since I saw Deadpool, I was like, ‘Those two characters together…’ I knew it. I knew the fans wanted it. Ever since I put on the claws fans have talked about these two, so that had always been there, but I just knew.”
Marvel Studios’ Deadpool & Wolverine is in theaters July 26.
