Key events
Half-time: Arsenal 1-1 Everton
Everton have done really well, defending with discipline and attacking with conviction. Similarly, Arsenal have done well too, sticking to their task despite ill news from further north. The title race remains alive – just.
45+8 min Apologies, my internet briefly departed, but we’re back now.
45+6 min “Lovely to see that dazzling Klopp smile after the MacAllister goal,” reckons Colum Fordham. “He thoroughly deserves to end on a high at Anfield after all the joy he’s given to Liverpool over the last nine years. And some of the most exciting breathless football the Premier League has ever seen when everything clicks. We salute you Jurgen. Thanks for everything, the hugs, the wit and the humanity. Could you say hi to my friend Andy in Liverpool and my brother Kit in London? All Liverpool fans like myself.”
I feel like Steve Wright! Burt agreed on Klopp, a seemingly rare football manager who grasps that football is part of the world, not the world.
45+4 min At the Emirates, a rumour West Ham have scored again; they haven’t.
45+2 min “After being under the Sword of Damocles of relegation for the last few years,” says Mary Waltz, “watching Everton football for the last few weeks has been such a lovely experience. I don’t miss the anxiety and the nausea, Scoring off Declan Rice’s head just adds to the fun. See y’all next season.”
The anxiety and nausea are the best bit!
45 min We’ll have seven [7] additional minutes.
45 min There’s been a development at the Etihad! Mohammed Kudus has teed himself up for an overhead kick and absolutely punished it past Ortega! On the touchline, Guardiola hurls a water bottle into the ground – that’ll teach it – and the Emirates is up!
GOAL! Arsenal 1-1 Everton (Tomiyasu 44)
That speaks volumes! Odegaard, Arsenal’s best player so far, gets down the outside of Young, Partey finding Martinelli who plays him in,; his cut-back is as precise as you’d expect and Tomiyasu, arriving into the box not for the first time today, sweeps home a decent finish through the legs of a defender.
42 min Credit to Everton, who might’ve been on the beach but are instead giving another display of moxie. Arsenal heads won’t drop because they’ve serious pros with pride and self-respect, but they’ll be hurting.
GOAL! Arsenal 0-1 Everton (Gueye 40)
Goodness me! Gueye takes the kick, looking for inside the near post, but Rice jumps, eyes away from ball, and it instead zooms into the far side of the net! On the touchline, Arteta cannot believe what he’s seen, his kipper consumed by mystification.
39 min Onana robs White and McNeil saunters forward, putting body between man and ball, so Partey ploughs through him and is booked. Free-kick Everton, left of centre, 22 yards out. Ashley Young is interested…
37 min Martinelli is up and back involved while, at Anfield, Alexis Mac Allister swerves home a ripper to put Liverpool in front in Jürgen Klopp’s last game as manager (apparently).
35 min Saliba feints a shot but instead slides a pass into Martinelli, whose first touch is excellent, taking him goalwards… but just as he’s about to shoot, Tarkowski slides in to power through ball and man, saving an almost certain goal. Nor does it end there for poor old Martinelli, who wears the follow-through – which looks a real sair yin.
33 min More Arsenal pressure, Martinelli’s cut-back intercepted and Odegaard unable to pick out a man with another searching ball into the box. So his side being passing again, looking for a gap in the Everton low block.
32 min Gueye carries forward in the counter and punches into the path of Calvert-Lewin, loitering on the line, his first touch is good but his second actually narrows the shooting angle … no matter. From the edge, he drills a fine low shot that cannons the base of the near post and the ball bounces back to him … but he can onyl send the rebound into the side-netting.
30 min Elsewhere:
28 min Onana is down with knee-gripe so the players take on board fluids. Perhaps not for the last time today.
27 min Havertz carries the ball forward and cuts inside, burrowing into the box in search of a shooting lane before ramming into the nearest available pair of shins.
25 min So where do we think Arsenal need to strengthen in the summer and with whom? I’d say a centre-forward who scores goals is essential, but I also think an elite-level wide player and perhaps an attacking midfielder are necessary – the squad has quality players and options, but not of comparable level to City.
24 min It’s been a while since Arsenal did anything. The crowd sing defiantly but they know it’s done – they just want to encourage and salute another fine season of improvement.
22 min Like De Bruyne, Foden has loads of skill and intelligence, but what differentiates them both, I think, is their power and pace. It’s so rare to have that in the middle of the pitch, and I don’t totally know how you defend it.
20 min Gueye is down receiving treatment, having been fouled by Havertz while, in East Manchester, the player of the season has near-enough ended the title race, sweeping home to put City two-up. I thought he’d get this good sooner than he has – the first time I saw him play, for England u17, I told mates I’d see a superstar – but he’s there now. What a player.
19 min “From an ‘I just want to watch the world burn’ perspective,” teases Kári Tulinius, “the funniest outcome today today would be if the title would be decided by an incorrect VAR decision. The discourse alone would keep our blood pressure up until the Euros kick off.”
The fume could solve global warming in a day.
17 min Everton win a free-kick just outside the box, which Calvert-Lewin clobbers into the wall as if on purpose. At Chelsea, Moisés Caicedo has just lobbed Neto from inside his own half, after the Bournemouth keeper went off on a frolic of his own (WM Morrison Supermarket plc v Various Claimants).
16 min Lovely from Arsenal Martinelli laying back to White and collecting the return, dipping inside Branthwaite via nutmeg – the defender can be found somewhere around Selhurst Park – but his shot is a little dragged and again, Pickford saves well.
14 min Odegaard fancies it today and he coaxes a ball to the far post where Trossard turns back … only to Pickford to prang behind, flapping a paw to send the ball behind before Havertz can tap hame.
13 min At the Etihad, City have West Ham punkt under the pump.
11 min Arsenal have lost a bit of their early momentum – a banger from a rival can do that to a team – and Everton are stating to play. The home side won’t mind that, necessarily – they’ll enjoy seeing Young in their half – but what’s this?! Branthwaite tries a suicidal pass across his own box, Martinelli intercepts and a lush touch from Odegaard sets the onrushing Rice for a shot … but from 12 yards, he can only drag a tiddler that Pickford saves easily at his near post.
9 min There are few teams more comfy in a rearguard than Everton, and their defenders, centre-backs especially, are fine box-men. Arsenal will need to prise them apart, and I wonder if third-man runs from their two number 8s are that they need to force that.
7 min Arsenal need to be careful now – the players will presumably hear what’s gone on in Manchester, and need to keep themselves focused to make sure they do their job. West Ham are more than capable of staying in the game until the closing stages (in theory).
6 min Rice teases a decent ball to the back post and Tomiyasu’s up … but from close-range he can only bungle a poor header wide. In co-comms, even Kindly Coisty reckons he should’ve scored.
5 min OH MY COMPLETE AND UTTER DAYS! Fill Phoden has just spanked in a sensational opener, astonished into the top corner from 20 yards, after 70-summat seconds!
4 min Odegaaard slides a characteristically clever reverse-pass down the side of the box for Martinelli, his cut-back is deflected and the ball’s loose in the box … but sprinting on to it, Tomiyasu can’t quite get there in time to finish, his shot blocked away.